Will He Ever See Me Alive Again? Poem by hannah babcock

Knife to my skin
As my heart beat is too rushed.
The last feeling of his lips brushing against me,
My cheeks feel hot as I began to blush.

I run from the memories of yesterday
To forget the people I will hurt.
If the knife goes any further,
I try to forget im wearing a white shirt.

The blood from the day be fore's cuts.
Still sitting on my arm, still untouched.
As the boy walks up to me, and groped my arm,
I hope my sleeve wont be caught or clutched.

The pills that I took in the girls bathroom
The smell of his cologne as it mix's
With the smell of my drug-laden breath.
as he smells it, he pulls away and stares at me with eyes of fix.

He knows what I did, he knows what I want to do.
he stares into my glazed eyes, I stare with no response.

As I reach for the buckle of his jeans,
he pulls away wishing not to be seen.

I grab him and pull him into a hug.
his fingers running through my hair as I continue to tug.

He seems to forget what I wanted to do.
His body is soon pressed between my thighs.
As I pursue him to take what I know he wants
And he looks me over with his caramel colored eyes.

He did what I wanted,
and he swore he wouldn't leave me alone
we stayed with each other through the night
till we both had to head home.

Now, this morning he called to say
he loved what I said, and loved what we did
Now he came over earlier today,
and yes, we did it again.

I told him to go downstairs,
and I would soon follow.
I wrote the note that said much more then just
'I love you'

He went downstairs,
and I wrote im sorry.
It's not cuz I didn't love you or it,
It's because life is so useless.

Now I lay on my bed,
Now without the white shirt, completely naked again,
The knife is in my hand,
I just wonder if he shall ever see me alive again.