Why I Can’t Help My Loving Spouse Poem by Stanley Cooper

I want to help my loving spouse
By doing things around the house
But why I can’t, I say with pain
And hope she understands as I explain

There are reasons why I am itchin’
Not to help her in the kitchen
If Shakespeare washed the dishes once a day
He might have written one less play

His time spent dishing for just one year
Might have deprived us all of his King Lear
He’d have never found time to write all he’s written
While scrubbing floors in his Great Britain

She’ll probably think I exaggerate
And find my analogy hard to take
But hopefully she’ll finally know-it
That housework’s not for Stan the poet