'...When I'M Satisfied' (Murdoch No.3) Poem by Kezziah Hopkins

a fasting man once told me
his intentions didn't work-
he tried to think of higher things,
but he just wanted food

later on, the man gave up
and left the church for good.
now he feeds his hunger on
communion, not on truth

and i am feeling a bit hopeless, 'cause it's just the same with me
except that it's not food i'm hungry for

this distance that's between us
was the very thing i thought
would help me to think through
the things that i'd been shrugging off

but now i find i'm drifting,
and without you i can't find
anyone to listen to what
i would like to say

it's not that i've been wanting deep discussions about the state we're in-
i just want to hear about your day

what do i need? what is
essential for a healthy soul?
if it's not food, please help me find
the nourishment i need

i think i know what's missing-
this dependence upon you
isn't helping me to chase it down
and make it stay with me

and yet you're still the one i turn to when my mind is overflowing
with things that i'm too blind to understand

i have no right to be this way,
no standing rationale-
everything i need is here
if i would only look

the cure for my stupidity
is written in a book, and the
answers are awaiting me
if i will only ask

he will fill me when i'm satisfied in him