When An Opening Is Also A Closing "Or Vice Versa" Poem by James Darwin Smith II

I have lost so many words
Within the confines of this silence
Anxiety forcing no action to be taken
But I cannot blame anyone else but me


So many times
I just want to scream, hello
Just to see if all is right
Yet, I freeze up
As this stomach of mine
Feels as if it was inhabited by dry ice


Perhaps, along the way
I have let some people down
They might feel I have no interest
But little do they know
There war waging on
Within the confines
Of my seclusion


In this heart
Up into this mind
There are haunting residuals
Of things I wish were to be
People and places
And everything in between



I have lost so many words
Yearning for them all to be found
Anxiety is my worst enemy
But it is up to me
To destroy it
So I can fill it with faith
As I live the best that I can
Giving myself a much better life



I have so many words unspoken
Filled with so action packed best intentions
Never have I ever meant to snub anyone
It is these battles
That I am so desperately trying to figure out


I care so much
And it eats me up so deeply inside
If I could only get out of my own self
I could live a much better life



May the words that need to be said
Find peace within

I love so much more
Than I have ever confided
I just keep it all bottled inside


Written words are easy for me to express
It is this voice I fail to incline



Too silent
But here I am
Waiting to scream happiness
In my own open air sublime

Where do things go from here?
I suppose it is up to me to decide

I must live upwards
To live a better life

Someday, I will be full of surprises…