What Happened? Poem by Deja Noelle Rupp

Old letters
Old notes
And old photographs
Capture my attention
And I just cant seem to grasp that
Innocent smiling little girl I see could really be that same girl I see as I gaze into the mirror before me
My childish look
My conscience dissolved
The things I've been through
Things I should never of done at all
As I read through old journals
it captivates my senses
from telling silly stories about the dangers of drinking
to talking about all the wild parties
of the nights I came home so drunk I could barley even speak
I remember when I used to pray at night before falling asleep
How I used to have daddy tuck me in just to make sure I was comfy
I remember how the F word was the biggest deal to me
How I would feel bad after saying it all day long till I prayed for God to forgive me
What happened to that lil girl
I know everyone grows up
But its such a shame to see that girl grow up into someone
She doesn't even like
And now I've grown up even more no more drinking no more drugs but I'll never be the old Deja again
The one I would have been proud of.