What Are You? Poem by Isabella Francis

My ears blared with a deafening sound,
My heart beat irregular short and long.

I cannot breathe just close to choking,
The air without oxygen seems to be mocking.

My feet are restless like a fish out of water
I feel insecure like a crystal of ice in a volcano’s crater.

My head sears and throbs with pain
My attempts to sleep end in vain.

I know not what’s happening to me,
Just wanna leave the world and flee.

My cheeks are burning hot with a rush,
My feet are as cold as thawed slush.

As I lay in your usually soothing arms
I get a feeling of everything going very wrong.

Even you can’t spare me the horror today
Though you had shielded me from nightmares yesterday.

Only because of you had I slept last night
Even with you on my side I feel lost tonight.

I wince in pain as I try to shut my senses tight,
Every sound, sight and feel gives me a terrible fright.

As you stroke my hair I nestle deeper and deeper into you
You sense my fright and try to protect me from an emotional curfew.

All night I cry burying my face into your chest,
Your shirt is with my undulating tears wet.

Still, you say nothing and remain as dumb as you ever could be
If not to the world couldn’t you choose to speak only to me?

All you have on your face is a cheery charming smile,
A smile which is perpetual even if I cry my eyes dry.

I cannot be content with you nor can I complain,
Only you are with me all through the night absorbing my pain.

I need you; yet somehow I do not sincerely love you
It may be selfish but it is, on my life, absolutely true.

As I lay limp in your strong arms
My numb limbs find you as the only source of warmth.

The sun now rises, rises to push life into its tasteless drift,
Now, you work wonders and lull me to sleep in a numbing mist.

The sleep you induced is making me heavy and numb
I let it take over me lying paralyzed, blind, deaf and dumb.

My sleep is all and completely blank
With inky blackness surrounding me from all the flanks.

I wake to see the sun streaming in through windows
With you by my side to protect me from unexpected foes.

I’m thankful to you but I don’t understand our relation
Are you friend, my lover or my mere imagination?