What Am I Supposed To Do Poem by Ms Thang

Tell me what I'm supposed to do.
If you're me and I'm you.
I understand everything you do.
The things you won't say that I already knew.
What am I supposed to do when you're all I know.
How am I supposed to let this stuff go?
How am I supposed to move past the pain
When I still want your last name.
The things you do I understand.
I understand you're still a man.
I try to make excuses, reasons and such
But, to keep it real, it just hurts too much.
You don't know what to do, how to feel.
All I'm asking is you keep it real.
Stop half steppin and playin games.
I can leave the same way I came.
I just don't want to - that's not the plan.
I don't want any other man.
I want you. I want us. I want this to work.
I just don't know what to do with the hurt.
There's no sight of any change.
What if things stay the same?
I refuse to go through all this stuff again.
I've done that with 3 previous men.
Waited for them to change - appreciate me.
It seems that doesn't happen until I leave.
So, what now? What do we do?
If you love me, and I love you
Why is this so hard? Why do we fight?
Why do you disappear at night?
You won't be without me and be alone.
As I spend late nights leaving messages on your phone
What do I do? What do I say?
I'm too old for games, too old to play.
The only option I see is walking away.
You'll never change if I continue to stay.
If you have nothing to lose you'll risk my loss.
You'll take care of you regardless the cost.
I haven't seen, touched, or humored another.
I even introduced you to my mother.
My mom, man, that stuff is real
But, I need to know the deal.
Be real or roll that's what you said.
Now you playin games wit my head.
I've been nothin but real with you.
As you've continued to do what you do.
You were the one that asked me for my heart.
Now you have it and you're tearin it apart.
What do you want me to do?
Just sit back and be hurt by you?
Today you shut down. You wouldn't engage.
Filled with hurt and filled with rage.
You did the thing you asked me not to.
It hurts me when you shut off, too.
There's only one more thing I can ask you for.
If you can't love me right let me walk out the door.
No empty promises, no selfish lies.
Let me stop hurting and say goodbye.
I told you I wasn't ready, you said you were.
And yet, somehow, I'm still sharing you with her.
I konw you don't want to hurt me. I know you don't.
I keep asking for change, and you just won't.
So, please, please do this thing for me.
If you can't make me happy let me leave.
Don't keep me around and keep hurting me.
Don't tell lies expecting me to believe.
You know better, I'm not that dumb.
This stuff really hurts, it isn't fun.
I know you don't want to be without me.
I know that right next to me is where you wanna be.
But, I can't, I won't keep questioning myself.
I can't allow you to put my heart on a shelf.