Unworthy Poem by Ms Thang

Feeling unworthy day after day
I’m reminded of God’s patient grace
I try to accept love, and acceptance too
But it is something I don’t know how to do
I don’t feel deserving and don’t understand why
Anyone could love me or even want to try
I try to remember that I’m freed from my past
But the feeling of forgiveness and peace rarely last
It’s not that I want to feel this way or enjoy it either
But it’s what comes naturally like flu and a fever
I look back on mistakes that I’ve made
How they affect me now even though I’m saved.
I wish I could erase all the things I’ve done
Take the bullets out of my emotional gun.
I look to my husband and just can’t seem to see
Why a man like him could love someone like me.
Imperfect and tainted, bruised and broken
Trying to move past the pain, learn to be open.
Guarded and cautious, expecting the worse
Trying to accept love from this man, the first
To ever see me the way I want to be.
The first man to ever really love me.
I can’t seem to understand and can’t seem to see
Why God loves me enough to keep blessing me.
I don’t deserve it and don’t claim to come close
To fulfilling his purpose for me, I guess I just hope
That someday I will be the woman he created
Before all the innocence and security faded.
I know she’s in there fighting to get out
She just doesn’t know the way – doesn’t know how.
So, I ask you tonight, Lord, in the midst of my tears
Can you please help me? My prayers can you hear?
I want to feel loved and worthy too.
I want to be the woman created by you.
Not the one abused, changed by the sins of man
I want to be the best complete woman I can.
But I can’t do this without you, I need your help.
I’ve come to accept that I can’t do this myself.
So, Lord, I ask you to please grant me peace.
That surpasses understanding and relieves my grief.
Please help me to see myself as deserving of joy and love.
And help me to believe that I am more than enough.
I don’t have to be anyone else.
Convince me who I am is truly myself.
Remind me that I don’t have to compare myself to anyone else.
And that as long as I continue to ask, you’ll continue to help.
Help me to find serenity in who I am today as I am
And even in my imperfections, I’m a beautiful woman.
You made me, you formed me, you created me too
In your image, and just like you
So, I must be beautiful, I must be good.
I must be wonderful, that’s understood.
As your daughter I can only and always be loved
Demonstrated by the sacrifice your only son.