Were Were You? Poem by nicola forbes

Where were You
When I needed your promised warmth,
the safety of your arms and the release of my pain.

Where were You?
when lonliness engulfed my dreams
and stole the script I planned to follow.

where were You?
as over and over again I fell,
my knees permanantly grazied.

Where were you?
when everyone else had someone
and held me with their pitying eyes,


where were You?
when you should have been here?

where were You
when you should have cared?

Where were You
as my tears fell?

I searched a million questions for what i had done so bad to be discarded.

Yet still I yearn for you.

I realised you were never going to be there
so I warmed myself with my own arms and released my own pain.
I became my own friend and followed no script.
I ignored the wounds you caused,
looked straight into the pitying eyes until they turned away.
I cared for myself.

But the tears are something else.
They are well hidden but I cannot cease them.
Everytime I catch myself waiting for You,
knowing full well you will never come.

Internal confliction as I fight this weakness.
I am strong and I am winning.
But I hate myself.

For I love You so!