Wedding March Poem by gershon hepner

The march from Lohengrin and Mendlessohn too
has led many couples to canopies bridal,
but most of them sadly are destined to rue
the fact that life isn’t a Siegried-like idyll,
nor even a dream on a night of midsummer,
where even an ass can have fun being Bottom,
for life after weddings is often a bummer,
desire declining to desideratum.
In Shakespeare the scenes often end up by rhyming
in couplets, replacing the verse that was blank,
but once you are married don’t think of two-timing,
or lawyers will take you from church to the bank.

Inspired by “Making Whoopee, ” written by Lonnie Johnson Eddie Cantor in 1927:

Making Whoopee

Everytime I hear that march from Lohengrin,
I am always on the outside looking in,
Maybe that is why I see the funny side
When I see a fallen brother take a bride!
Weddings make a lot of people sad,
But if you're not the groom, it's not so bad.

Another bride, another June,
Another sunny honeymoon,
Another season, another reason,
For making whoopee.

A lot of shoes, a lot of rice,
The groom is nervous, he answers twice,
It's really killing that he's so willing
To make whoopee.

Picture a little love-nest,
Down where the roses cling;
Picture the same sweet love-nest,
Think what a year can bring!

He's washing dishes and baby clothes,
He's so ambitious, he even sews,
But don't forget, folks,
That's what you get, folks,
For making whoopee!

Another year, or maybe less,
What's this I hear? Well, can't you guess?
She feels neglected,
And he's suspected,
Of making whoopee.

She sits alone most every night,
He doesn't phone, or even write,
He says he's busy,
But she says, 'Is he?
He's making whoopee! '

He doesn't make much money,
Five thousand dollars per,
Some judge who thinks he's funny
Says, 'You pay six to her.'

He says, 'Now, Judge, suppose I fail? '
The judge says, 'Bud, right into jail.
You'd better keep her,
You'll find it's cheaper
Than making whoopee.'

12/30/00