Wash It, Cut It, Salt It, Eat It Poem by gershon hepner

Wash it it, cut it, salt it, eat it––
that's all tomatoes ask of you,
nor will one think that you mistreat it
if you consume it in a stew.
Do not cut a woman who
has washed because she hopes to meet
you, or assault her, if it’s true
she hopes you’ll eat her as a treat.
Women are more problematic
than tomatoes, but they can
give pleasure that is more ecstatic
than tomatoes from a can.

If you have a favorite
among tomatoes let it be
the last you ate, but don’t admit
that you’re a girlie referee,
deciding which girl was the best
you ever had. You have to say
it was the last one, and the rest,
compared to her, were just OK.
Girls are not ltomatoes, and
they’ve all got feelings that you hurt
if you, as their analysand,
compare them with another skirt.

Mary MacVean writes about tomatoes in the LA Times, September 16,2008, describing the crop, including Big Boy, Better Boy, Tough Boy, Big Beef, Black Plaum, Black Krim, Black Brandywine, Boxcar Willie, Clint Eastwood’s Rowdy Red, Kellog’s Breakfast, Red Currant, Mr. Stripey, Italian Ice and Julia Child, that Bill Anderson grows in Winnetka and Scott Daigre promotes in Tomatomania:

What’s the best tomato? Simple, according to Daigre. “My favorite tomato is the last one I ate, ” he said. His favorite recipe? “Pick a tomato. Wash it. Or not. Cut it. Or not. Salt it. Or not. Eat it.”

9/16/08