Waiting Poem by Vanessa Kingsley

I sat for hours lookin’ at the street
He was still nowhere to be found
Never got a call
It never beeped
Deep inside, I knew it all
I should’ve known it wouldn’t last
In the end I guess I did
I didn’t think it would happen so fast
But in the end I guess I did
When he left he took most of me
In its place is a new reality
Lying in the holes
Is an imitation
I do it so well
I did it so well
Time flies by when you’re not looking
Time lingers when you least expect
Time was never on my side
It’s screwed me over and over again
Until I forfeited the win

No more
I said
But more came
In my head
I don’t know how I let it happen
He started it over
I can’t remember him sober
I bet it was a beautiful thing
The glazed eyes
All the lonely nights…
I never had a claim on you
I lied to myself
That’s how I got through
Sorry if I’m being weak
As the tears somehow fall
Into my drink

Look at what he’s left me
Nothing but bittersweet memories
A breaking heart
That is painfully beating
A shattered dream
That is bleeding
Supposedly, the dead aren’t meant to walk
I guess that’s right because I stumble and fall
I should’ve never given love a second chance
Because love doesn’t give a damn
About me

The finest red wine
Will give you a headache
Sure it’s good for you
But how much can you take?
Before it’s all you want
And it’s all you need
Maybe this love was red wine for me
Too many tears shed
Too much blood bled
Too many bruises to cover up

Physical
Mentality
He left me with hardly anything
In the end
Who’s to blame?
Shaking
With hatred
Shaking
With regret
I never blamed him for anything
Despite the fact
He raped me
Of everything
I see what she meant
When she said
You sound like thunder
But have barely spoken

Still looking out my window for your face
When can I get out of this God forsaken place?