Urban Haiku Poem by Michael Pruchnicki

Urban Haiku

Rating: 2.8


in the backyards
winds of autumn
ripple plastic bags

the tree by the fence
a twitter with nuthatch-
moving-in day

girl in the library
peering at the screen-
books stacked nearby

in the garden pool
water shimmers-
harvest moon winking

blond waitress
leans over the counter-
lust flares

house across the street
silent and empty-
bank owns it

red leaves fluttering
skittering across the lawn-
broken toys

COMMENTS OF THE POEM

this haiku sucks ass

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Good portrayal of autumn like scenes-but- I hate to this to you: a haiku is a three lined 5-7-5 syllable poem.You don't have all the sylables in some of the lines.Since haiku means poem allowing for poetic license I supose you could call it a longer poem in freeform.It's fine I had to demote my Sonnet; To a Sailor from sonnet to a poem (Sonnet*) The Siren Sings to A Sailor because I could not get two lines to rhyme and try as might the efforts would have ruined the mood and flow of my poem.I feel it's more important sometimes to give life to the words.You write wonderfully.Thankyou for your poetic view.

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