Untitled Poem by Sarah matthews

I no longer know what to do, I am trying to be me but then again what am I? i don't know how to
describe what the hell I'm going through
My life is at a complete loss. It feels like I am
no longer the boss. What will be the cost of not
being lost and finally getting to be happy? How

much will be the cost? No longer am I
friends to ayone, it seems as if everyone
treats me as an enemy. Fine then an enemy
I shall be, if you label me as the enemy then go

ahead. Then the next day when I walk
through that same doorway, don't expect
me to say, hi or even a nod.
As you stand there puzzled, just remeber
you labeled me the enemy.
If I am the enemy then what are you? Now

I know what I am destined to be, the only
thing i want to be is me. Me is still undefined
but then again what is actually defined as the
thing and not the other? Life is about making
choices and createing yourself and painting
your canvas with your masterpiece.


There was one man who helped me when
I needed it the most but never would admit
it. Yes, I asked him for advice about my
parents then things were blown way outta
proportion.I have cut and torn the family apart
, how could I create the
distance when it's supposed to be close? After
it's all done and over with and there distance is
still a huge gap, there is only one thing left form

all this, it was not even there when it all started
but it lasted
through all the pain and drama of my life. I
gained a friend, even though
i lost all connection and trust with my entire
family except my brother.

You may see no gain and only lots of pain
and me being insane but i
would rather have a friend then a family who

has lied to me my entire
life. Now no longer does that knife or blade
seem to be comforting, he

is no longer my companion that i come
running home to, to seek
comfort. My wrist are safe from the pain
and greif. The veins will no

longer have to torn at, no longer being
pressured to just let go, they
have survived the fight, and one hell of a

fight it was. The veins
protecting the arties are truely loyal and
always will be, because with

every fight they will endure even after the
first is over, they will be
stronger and ready for the next. the only

thing they won't be ready for is
when the attack will be next.