Unrepentant Guilty Conscience Poem by Niki Nicholas Nkuna

Out of the blue, my oppressor's attitude amiable unusual,
Beckoned me,
My attitude, recoiled in defence of a cantankerous reproach,
As usual,
To my surprise a Pandora's Box was let loose on my lap,
Out of mind, heart rending,
No other option but to sympathise with him,

Luke warm response to my generosity,
Confused me more,
From then on, nothing said, no more,
Withdrawal into the familiar cocoon,
Perhaps regret for letting me into his private life,
Cold attitude the same as always,
Me taking the brunt as always,
Interaction kept at bay, relationship drudgery to reach maturity,

Mood swings, the workings of the gods and evil spirits interchanging,
To be regarded as normal like everybody else,
Always a tearful wish behind closed doors,
The power of habit overbearing,

Guilty conscience to change bad habit troublesome,
The precipice ominously near,
Holding steadfastly to pride,
Save face and let loose the last hand before the fall,
Selfishly yearning to belong in the humane kraal,
When in fact he does not belong there,
He plays his cards very close to the chest,
Being able to play act inside and outside,
However his real colour is visible for people to see,
A touché light of truth follows him whenever he changes places,
With fear he realises, he can't be otherwise but himself,
Like a chick wiping its beak,
While its use is far from over,


NN 18 March 2012