Unidentified Poem by LeighAnna Williams

I stand right in front of this picture I have painted
I wipe away the tears that just keep on coming
throughout my body I feel my breath Escaping.
'To Thy Own Self Be True' and yet when I peer within
I see, not truth but pretend. It feels as if every time I inhale
I break more and more.. nothing seems okay.
Lately when I think of you all these emotions inside me
catch fire; imbresions lined with gasoline instantly lies burn everything.
Frustrated I feel so tired hanging high on hopes
but falling for disappointments.
Who are you to me really?
Why won't you just go away?
A million questions with Not One Answer, an explanation, an excuse just give me something.
Mind racing a hundred miles a minute nothing can keep me from crashing now.
Suddenly it's you I stand facing heart still breaking & the only thing you have to
represent is a turn and a few steps walked away distancing yourself from me.
Another night I've dreamt of you
Another night I've been placed to Dismember this battle
but when I see you I'm convinced this is not a Battle I can face.
What didnt I do to deserve what you just wouldnt give
Why am I left here with countless Insecurities?
I swear sometimes it must be me but I don't believe you knew how to capture, believe or accept how you made me feel.
It's been a minute and I've closed this door since there is no longer a pathway between you and I.
Yet & Still I fear there will always be a way paved just for you.
I remember when I made a promise to always love you so; inside that promise becomes haunting
I'm abandoned & regardless of what comes settling is so hard.
Staring at this person I've become, disected like I left my wound open for display
you infest this cavity slowly making my chest cave in pain.
I'm terrified of remaining me that every time I wake up to another day
I realize me myself and I... Will Never Be the Same.
Open my eyes, witness the sun rise a part of me still dying
Sooner than Later I'll still be your sure thing, the real one but never anything more than what you see.
... I wish I was Strong enough to never feel pain.