Unchangable Poem by Matthew Boisjolie

Even tho i try and modify my self,
i always seem to fall back to my default,
as if someone hit factory reset on my brain,
i dont mean to be 'spacy' or to forget our plans,
i don't mean to be like 'your ex',
i dont mean to forget to call,
i dont mean to be a fuckup in anyones eyes,
but over and over i prove myself wrong,
as if im running on a downhill slope,
eventually i will topple over and crash,
i try my hardest to keep status quo,
i try my hardest to try and let you know,
sometimes i know it works to its full potential,
but others i sit and cry, with the situation and the outcome so awful,
im sorry again, for the things i mean not to do,
ill start in myself and start that difficult duel,
the civil war in my head, and in my self,
im sorry for the pain,
im sorry for the torment,
i wish i could, take it all back like a vacume cleaning the evidence of the past,
but im unable to, so ill sit here, and think about what to do.