Turning Over A New Leaf Poem by Linda Coker

I watched a leaf falling so gracefully,
It seemed as weightless as it could be.
It caught a light breeze, gently touched down,
And swiftly began inching across the ground.

That green leaf grew green legs before I could blink,
Crept back to the tree without once wavering,
Straight up the broad trunk, back out on a limb,
Launched itself into the breeze once again.

Over and over I witnessed this scene,
Then finally approached this leaf so enchanting.
Once it had landed, I nudged with my boot,
And saw a green lizard under leaf parachute.

My alarm was surprisingly held at bay,
I truthfully didn’t know what to say,
I watched him again as he leapt from a branch,
Jabbering something about car insurance.

I backed away shaking my thick, muddled head,
Certain I‘d soon wake up in my warm bed.
Instead, some commotion, a hullabaloo,
Some foolishness stirring in my backyard zoo!

My chickens were gathered along the link fence,
Tormenting the Guernsey with noise so intense,
But instead of cluck-clucking, I felt no relief
To hear them say “Got milk? ” and “Hey, where’s the beef? ”

The neighbor’s old cow, usually sweet and serene,
Was acting quite mad now and looked scary-mean!
No, that wasn’t lowing and mooing I heard:
“Chicken! Eat more chicken! ” – were her very words.

My head was gyrating, legs wobbly and weak,
I lurched towards the house, too startled to speak.
I passed my two dogs, who looked perfectly sane
As they calmly discussed their high stakes poker game.

One leaping lizard
One very cross cow
Two little dogs that did not bark ‘bow wow! ’
Five bantering banty hens-
What’s going on?
I’m losing my mind in the midday sun!

Why was this familiar? Not quite déjà vu…
But I couldn’t process - no, nothing came through;
I awoke at long last with a wail of a scream:
“No more late night TV with a side of ice cream! ! ”

(2008)