Torturing Myself Poem by charlie s

my cup's empty again
energy cursing through my veins
but I'm still tired. I'm always tired
I listen to the same podcast
it's probably the 12th time
but it doesn't matter, it never has
I crave nicotine again but the shops are closed
a puzzle as consolidation
I play another round of the same game
until my brain can't take it anymore
I'm on hour fourteen of my short lasting ambition
maybe this time I'll finish
maybe today I can hold on to you
why did I set a deadline?
I've never been one for patience