Learn More

Jim Yerman

Toilet Paper and Marriage

Couples fight about money, about communication and control.
But an unsung cause of trouble in a marriage is the toilet paper roll.

The experts never mention it; in books you won’t even come upon it.
But divorces are caused by that little roll and the paper that goes on it.

A wife’s number one complaint and the reason she screams and shouts
Is her husband’s won’t refill the roll once the paper has run out.

And it drives a wife crazy, oh how she’ll complain and gripe and grouse
When her husband doesn’t seem to care if there’s any paper in the house.

If there is an ample supply of paper you’d think this would make her feel great
Not true...for she must also win the great toilet paper debate.

When you look at the marriage vows...Whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder
There is no mention if the toilet paper should hang over or hang under.

(By the way if you’re not sure and another fight you want to prevent
Over is preferred to under by a whopping 70%.)

Why are these things important to our wives? Why does it cause them so much stress,
While for the most part when it comes to toilet paper most husbands could care less?

Oh of course we’d like to have some but if we find the toilet paper’s gone
Most men come prepared for this, we bring a newspaper to the john.

And we don’t ever notice if the paper’s over, under, rough or plush
We read our article or play words with friends and when we’re done we flush.

But husbands don’t you worry let me come to your rescues
And help you find an easy way to beat these toilet paper blues.

Since you don’t usually care anyway do not enter into the fray
The best advice I can give you is to do everything her way.

By doing what she wants, when she wants, here’s something you can’t deny
Your marriage will be stronger than ever...perhaps even 3 ply.

It’s a simple solution really, why it’s what marriage is all about
Compromise and making sure the toilet paper won’t run out.

Who could have known when you sat down and wrote your matrimonial goal
That your marriage might just depend on that toilet paper roll.

But it does! So the next time you’re staring at that empty toilet paper roll
Smile as you refill it...and remember whose in control.

Submitted: Monday, January 13, 2014
Edited: Monday, January 13, 2014

Do you like this poem?
1 person liked.
0 person did not like.

Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

What do you think this poem is about?

Comments about this poem (Toilet Paper and Marriage by Jim Yerman )

Enter the verification code :

  • Veteran Poet - 3,422 Points Lyn Paul (1/14/2014 7:33:00 AM)

    Hey I tried to give you a 10 but it did not allow. So Hey this is a 10 for fab toilet humour. Cheers (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,422 Points Lyn Paul (1/14/2014 7:27:00 AM)

    A great write Jim. under or over as long as there is some that is all that matters. But you make sure you keep doing the right thing. I am probably more concerned about the deadly fragrance after the bloke has been in there... phew! (Report) Reply

Read all 2 comments »

Trending Poets

Trending Poems

  1. Still I Rise, Maya Angelou
  2. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost
  3. Fire and Ice, Robert Frost
  4. The Boy Who Laughed At Santa Claus, Ogden Nash
  5. The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost
  6. Invictus, William Ernest Henley
  7. If You Forget Me, Pablo Neruda
  8. A Dream Within A Dream, Edgar Allan Poe
  9. Annabel Lee, Edgar Allan Poe
  10. Trees, Joyce Kilmer

Poem of the Day

poet Emily Jane Brontë

I am the only being whose doom
No tongue would ask no eye would mourn
I never caused a thought of gloom
A smile of joy since I was born

In secret pleasure - secret tears
...... Read complete »


New Poems

  1. Pain, Pain Knows No Race, Hebert Logerie
  2. God's Hands Of Love, Tom Zart
  3. Alone, Samantha Gronn
  4. David, Casey Renee Kiser
  5. She Stuck Her Butt Out At Me..., wanderer sailor
  6. Nine Views of the Huangshan, Paul Hartal
  7. Trying to Say Goodbye, Bijay Kant Dubey
  8. Autumn, Leong Ming Loong
  9. Colors, Tom Squires
  10. वक्त का तकाजा है vakt ka takaaja hai, hasmukh amathalal
[Hata Bildir]