Timesong 18 Just A Moment? Poem by Stewart McKenzie
Timesong 18 Just A Moment?
Hum-ho
Thus and so
At the turn of the world revolve
Both night and day
In the usual way
But in the granaries of night
I sort the seeds of day
Wondering at their separate natures
They say distinction occludes the light
Who knows? They may be right
Mere films of form cast like skins in time
By a hidden river
Between wave and particle
The stars vibrate
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4/27/2024 10:11:14 AM # 1.0.0.1119
In my opinion, the first two lines are off-puting...sort of light and not in the same tone as the rest of your poem. Your images are nice and your ideas in this poem are thoughtful and deep. I particularly like the last two lines. Nice...but do get rid of the first two lines! Raynette