This Is What People Can'T See When They Look At Me Poem by cris son.

I wish I could hate you, it would hurt less
I'm tired, the kind that sleep can't fix
I'm tired of holding on, I'm tired of life
depression has destroyed me, it made me suffer
it made me hate the people I'm supposed to love
I'm not who I used to be, I have slowly lost everything
and now it's coming in for the kill
hurting myself doesn't mean I'm looking for attention
it just means I'm hurting really bad
plenty of people ask me if anything is wrong
but I find that none of them really wants to know
maybe your'll find me there among the clouds, ill be waiting
how do you run away from things, that are inside your head?
I'm not ashamed of my scars, I'm only ashamed of myself
how are you fine? , I'm alone and I
feel empty
I'm torn apart inside, I seem to hate myself
everything is strange, life, people,
each day another piece of me dies
tonight I'm so alone, this sorrow takes a hold
the saddest part is, that everyone thinks I'm happy
I used to think the worst in life was death
now I know better, the worst is life
I lived in the real world, but died in my made up one
I can see myself wrecking and ruining, but I can't stop myself
even the best fall down sometimes
waking up is painful
my friends are up in mountains and I'm drowning in lakes
do not judge me, what is the fucking
point?
I don't want to kill myself, I just want to erase my whole existence
hit me really hard, beat me I'm done
nothing's worth it anymore
I act differently, around different people and I don't know who the real me is
I want to go back to being, the sweet naive and smart girl I used to be
but I think she was the one who died
when I was bullied, raped, and abused
I feel so alone, so lost, so worthless
I feel pointless, stupid, and confused i feel like I'm already dead, I don't know what to do
where on earth do I actually belong,
or who my real friends are







By: cris son
Age: 19