This Death Wont Reflect My Intentions Poem by Ephraim Tshilo

I see my life before my eye, if I had two eyes
One I would use for my blinded site
The things that I fail to see, the downfall to the person I have to be
Pathway too weak for me and the Girl
Can't complain cause' nigga's got the plan
But still I'm a father to be. Don't care if my life is a lie
Voices inside, my head, it's crazy like it's impossible
Will I ever get to see daughter, mama will never see me prosper
The investments I put in tomorrow, demolished and buried forever
But why wouldn't I pass on my mind
My pleasure to leave a sign that says the world was mine
Can't forget what I've been doing
Don't understand the songs I've been singing
Damn! Hate these intense relations to early living
Heaven Hell please get the message
Question: how the hell? I'm young for Heaven's sake.
A disease I would appreciate
An accident I would tolerate, a nightmare I won't hate to hate
Its reality I anticipate, a birthday that needs a cake
I fake living of the matured who remain somehow shocked
The way I walk out of this world
Like lights are red and still I go like thoughts keep coming
Keep coping, I'm great, it's slice of cake but I'm dying
And this death won't reflect my intentions.

Maybe his thoughts are just over weight
The million dollars he's about to make, it's more than the change he got yesterday
Can't live for nothing but money cause' his psycho not strong enough
Can't live for nothing but money cause' she got to eat when he is gone
So he try to hustle and win, take advantage of the weak, disadvantage the wise
Oh! He Fails. He fails! Hell He lost. His brain explodes Baah!
Success codes can't crack, poverty looms, can't afford
Last penny he can't spend this hunger he can't stand
He kills to get rich, Kill for her survival, sentenced for justice
Escape, house break, he fugitive, eliminated
Perhaps that's not me, that's the person I am I don't want to be
I do drugs I abuse, appreciate the hate for a positive attitude
Hustle to the grave, hustle all the way to jail, Satanism, devil-wood
No dream like stars of Hollywood...
It's dark, it's night, it's awful, a burden
Life is labour its painful, you feel it when you broke its unaffordable
So I die it kills me I emphasise
This death won't reflect my intention
Dear lookalikes of the no more body
It's such a relief that you can foresee a bee failing to bear honey
You walk with sense you can Foretaste no sugar, remind me
Isn't it you who has a mind, or is it true on one side you blinded
Open your mind your eye will give you opinion, and
Open your heart your love brings freedom
Yeah! But I love life I'm not free
See you only love her on that aspect you free
Except when he is broke and he needs what is best for me
And you know he loves you that's all there is to be
Money is coin daddy I am flash and blood
Daddy loves you girly can't let you starve
I try to keep it together it keeps crashing
Water and oil would mix if I got God by my side
Satan would forgive if let go of my pride
Me and money we like magnet
Unlike my enemies I still dig it no matter how much we repel
In a nutshell there is no living if it is not here
But then money's gone as if it had legs to move
And pride won't stick around knowing there is life where money's headed
I feel it vanish it's a window pain, I can't cope, a meaningless sound
I don't want to hear, anywhere, I despair, it's unfair, near me
Can't respond
Dark deep ocean harmful
Swim, swim, keep on swimming, keep on digging
Nothing
Hustle, dive in, shoot, shoot to score
To celebrate, to conquer, don't hesitate
Have two eyes, nice, have a heart don't blink
Overcome obstacles, think
Have vision, a dream. Don't drink
After all, this death won't reflect my intentions
They said education, the one tool I could not get
What my mind won't accommodate, speak of a right to think
As expensive as it is, the way to Hollywood, a success measure
Maybe I should gun for Bollywood, Ei! I'm no Indian. Pressure
Can't afford primary school, no shoes, transport fairs
I gamble. I lose cause' it is unfair. Shows you life is lairs
Political, imagine exactly 20years chronological
Can't see where one is headed or at least what is needed
Mind affairs, this secrets, I cannot unbar, secrets of success
I've been hunting, a treasure. Adulthood is what matters
To be strong, brave, to be a warrior. Not Celtic, African.
Not a master, an honourable chief. Pass on my mind
Not educate, give. Education is expensive