! They Also Loved Poem by Michael Shepherd

‘We only love if we have first been loved.’

Aye, there’s the rub.

The teenager, her room walled round
with rock and pop stars who, it seems,
all smile their open, deep-eyed smiles
just for her… twists, red-eyed, on the bed,
hammers the pillow with clenched fists…

the boy she loved has dumped her;
she gave him all her love, and now
he’s taken it, so she’s got no love left,
not now, not forever, in her life..

Here in the tidy convent, where
everything seems polished, even the faces,
the nun kneels. Her veil hides her face; is she young or old?
She is very still. We may not know her thoughts.

Not far away, the monk is praying too; kneeling,
he’s restive; from time to time, raises his head,
looks to the crucifix. We may not know his thoughts.

Here’s Saint Augustine. When he was young
he was the member of a gang; did all the things
that young men spur each other on to do;
knew hot lust and passion to surge up, and fade;
then took a longtime mistress; loved her, and desired.

So when he says, we only love
if we have first been loved,
his words sound many things to us:
he’s tearaway, lover, man, and monk,
teacher, perhaps; and saint.

Here in a cell in Patmos, is Saint John:
sees all things as clearly as the Grecian landscape,
the sea, the sky, blue; the tiny boats down there,
white sails matching white summer clouds:
takes his pen, writes daringly: ‘God is Love’… the heavens
do not fall in upon him; only cicadas and wild herbs
sing in the silence: he sees Creation in its perfect order,
Man made by God, and in His image; so, adds,
with the certainty of which the stars and sun are made,
‘ We love Him, because He first loved us.’

The teenager, given time, will dry her tears;
time brings tears, and time wipes them away;
given time, she’ll give her love again.
What love is, is for each to say.

‘We only love, if we have first been loved.’