The Times Poem by Cloe C

while he stamps my lips with his sweet presence
while he grabs my waist, slides it down as I like slides from his lips
'I love you'
the way he excuses using me in his head

he leaves behind hickeys for him to remember the deeds he does to me that he doesn't talk about
my tongue spits out and rejects his words
my tongue can't hold the words to explain that his hand prints can never be washed off

if it could, the water that washes over me would reject me for being such a fool
for trusting a wolf in sheep's skin
I can't tell you how much pain I feel because I have to swallow each word I never got to say
the entire time he was fooling around with other girls, I believed he was being loyal

all I've been left to do is play hide and seek with my emotions
gas lighting myself than having panic attacks and mental break downs
tears stain my cheeks to replace the once blush color he made
disgust and guilt floods my body everywhere he touched me pretending I meant something to him

my skin will tell every story where I was left holding a beast
I'm trying to baptize myself in a body of water that does not hold another body that holds me the wrong way
I do not miss him
I do not want to hug him
I do not need to pick myself up

I do not cry
I do not need to calm down
I do not yell at him every time I see him
I do not look at him

I do not acknowledge his existence
I do not care about him
I do not miss him
I am relieved he is out of my life