The Map Of My Sheets Poem by David Saltaire

Just like any other year
I feel my sap rising
as the days grow longer, looser and languid.

Now it's Summer again
sensual breezes of twilight
remind me with a pang of my lustier youth.

I look with longing
towards the many beauties
and my heart says I am lonely and boyish.

the time has past
when I could follow desire blindly,
carressing the braille of of initimate bodies.

reading my lover
touching those chapters
with lips and fingers, adventure and mystery.

What a mess I'd made
on the map of my sheets
drawing the outline of paths that dead-ended.

I've long since changed them
smoothed them, softly
let them cool in the winds of last autumn.

But here I am, dreaming
of carnal dissolution
I pray for calm eyes, serene smiles, disconnection.

I want to stay out
of waterfalls and geysers
rapids, fierce waves, tears and monsoons.

I am unsuited for love
and though my youthful heart
cries out for the passionate beast of the night...

... my lips are sealed
and sealed they'll stay.
(Oh, graceless fool! Oh, blood-emptied heart!)