The Fly Poem by Joshua Howell

I always have company
When I wake up every day
It’s not a friend or loved one
It’s a fly which won’t go away
Around and around
It buzzes round my head
I think it has been there forever
Why is it not dead?
I don’t know when I met it
Or why it chose me.
I need someone to kill it
But no one else can see.
I wish I knew what it wanted
Or when it was going to sting
Instead of flying round me
Destroying everyone and everything
Sometimes I think I should ignore it
It is only a little fly
But it is always there with me
I don’t know how or why.
Sometimes it goes inside me
And lands within my brain
Maybe it thinks it belongs there
But it causes all the pain.
When the fly is resting
I have to keep very still
There is no way I can disturb it
It may sting, or bite, or kill.
It must be getting old now
That stubborn little fly
Maybe it will leave me alone soon
Maybe it will just die
Or maybe it is there forever
Waiting for me to die
Dreaming of me rotting
With no one passing by
With my flesh and bones
It could have a great feast
The small little fly
Would turn to a beast
That is something I will never know
But I am sure that I am right
I can feel it piercing my soul
Throughout every single night
So for now I live with company
And whatever will be will be
I dream of being alone though
For my depression hangs over me