The First Thing I Would Do Poem by Nikhil Parekh

If I were a ferocious panther the first thing I would do; was devour my prey
with unprecedented relish,
Then sleep in my den in the heart of the jungle cloistered from acrid light; impregnating the atmosphere with my snores.

If I were an inconspicuous mosquito the first thing I would do; was to extract
parsimonious amounts of blood from supple complexioned flesh,
Then buzz incessantly in vicinity of the eardrum; driving the individual to
the threshold of raw indignation.

If I were a long legged spider the first thing I would do; was to weave my
silken web with the sticky gel in my belly,
Then patiently wait for innocuous insects to get trapped in; before pulverizing them to succulent pulp.

If I were a handsome grey lizard the first thing I would do; was to stealthily
pounce on my victim; strangulating it with my coherently synchronized teeth,
Then perching myself in hidden cavities of the tube light; laboriously try and
swallow my sumptuous meal.

If I were an indolent cow grazing on the hills the first thing I would do; was
to munch lush green grass protruding from the soil,
Then spend marathon hours chewing the same; succeeded by an afternoon siesta;
with the sun shining in my eyes.

If I were a preposterously huge elephant wandering through the swampy marshes;
the first thing I would do; was submerge my trunk in water; evacuating colossal amounts of the solvent,
Then sprinkling the same with equanimity and brute power; on all animals in
the surrounding.

If I were a disdainfully colored cockroach the first thing I would do; was to
swish my tentacles rampantly in exuberance,
Then cling as tightly as possible to inner seams of the lavatory seat; waiting
for dawn to descend in utter exasperation.

If I were a enchanting cuckoo the first thing I would do; was to adroitly flex
vocal chords deep down in my throat,
Inundating the ambience with melodious music; profoundly enjoying the
aftermath of the same.

If I were a heinous criminal the first thing I would do; was to sabotage prime
property,
Stripping the overwhelmingly rich of their affluence; philandering all throughout the night under sleazy lights of the blaring discotheque.

If I were a normal human being the first thing I would do; was to find the
inevitable love of my life,
Incarcerate the same for the remaining time till I breathed air; dedicate my
entire time towards protection of her being.

And If I were the omniscient Creator the first thing I would do; was to annihilate all poverty and suffering,
Make sure that all those living continued to live in perpetual contentment; for decades immemorial.