The Defeated Poem by Eman Awad

I've went to battle without my horses,
and i've been taken down by all forces.
I just wish it was a fair play,
this war wasn't my fault any way.
And i've sit in a womb like, dark,
swallow the defeat and mend my heart.
But i got severely hurt under an attack,
not just my pride but all of me, i lack.
I got scars the mention of them makes me wince,
the scar in my soul id wider, bleeding ever since.
I wish i've stood for my self,
but how i bled got me fearing fear it self.

I put my sword on the ground,
and a white flag on my door.
I'll fall with dignity without a sound,
i won't come round here any more.

I adored the way you smiled,
and i put my heart in your hands.
I prayed this story won't get riled,
and i've surrendered my home and my lands.
But maybe i should've had more than love,
maybe i needed some thing i don't have to give.
When it came to war, my affection wasn't enough,
but yet i needn't nothing but your smile to live.
I'm not perfect and so do you,
but i thought this world has changed.
I let down my guard and loved you,
but you got all my strategies rearranged.
I've seen your league and my army can't compete,
i thought a sweet surrender can end my misery.
I didn't reclaim my heart and announced my defeat,
i gazed upon your eyes to make a final memory.

I can't breathe, i can't cry, i can't comprehence,
how can i be betrayed by love the minute i lay down my defence? ?