That Sense Of Outrage.... Poem by RIC BASTASA

i would have said something
direct to the point

like an arrow to the heart of the tree
i could have shouted eureka

i could have followed my heart and walked away and find
a home in someone's face

i could have been someone that you have never known
a handshake that you have never felt

we could have been more intimate than friends
contented in the poverty of our souls

but it is not just possible
i don't mind the hardship or the looseness

but it is not just possible
it does not fit, something feels so good but at a distance

it is ugly and undesirable
and for a moment when i search for my true face and find it

it becomes so horrible
it gives me this sense of outrage that i have never lived at all.