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Sunset

Nursing my secret longings
I lie awake in the wee hours of the night
Mind restless, like a caged bird craving redemption
My thoughts journeying through time and space

I recognize a thousand appetites
Still waiting to be appeased!
Sadly there isn’t time enough
To realize what I really crave.

It is in the stillness of the night
When sleep deserts the eyes
That mind derails its track
And wanders like an aimless vagabond

Though rooted firmly on the ground
At times, I feel, I lose my bearings
How I longed to paint my sky
In garish colours and shades!

I wonder if the scales of my life’s balance
Lean more to gains or losses now!
There was a time when hope ruled the roost
And I heard love’s soft whispers all around!

Now I am unable to precisely tell
What my mind craves and pines
But this much I know for certain
I am becoming worn and old

Years have so quickly skipped past me
With youth and beauty sapped away
Leaving life an exhausted well
With the dregs remaining at the bottom

My eyesight has waned, the youthful lustre gone
My once supple knees have started to creak
And the muscles, begun to sag
I feel as vulnerable as a foetus in the womb

Pain grows with years
As a smudge deepens into an erasable stain
Alas! I am no wizard to call back all that left
But listen to the *‘long, melancholy, withdrawing roar’

No more springing steps
And a fast fading cortex
Still I stretch myself
To catch at Hope, winging away!

Submitted: Thursday, January 30, 2014
Edited: Thursday, January 30, 2014


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Poet's Notes about The Poem

The placid flow of life, occasionally disturbed by the pebbles of gloom, ......the aches and anxieties of advancing age!

* a phrase from Matthew Arnold's poem Dover Beach- -

Comments about this poem (A Journey to Bethlehem by Valsa George )

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  • Valsa George (3/22/2014 1:13:00 AM)

    Hmm....Thank you Khairul for this extensive, line by line analysis of my poem. I value your opinions and rate them as compliments coming from a great artist and poet...... I am ever thankful for this wonderful critique!

    Thanks for your indepth analysis of my poems which only you are capable of doing!

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  • Khairul Ahsan (3/21/2014 8:03:00 PM)

    You have struck a cord, Valsa, and that's a delight for a poet to know. I think, you and me being of same age make us see things through the same lens of life.
    Definitely this poem is going to My Favorite Poems list.

  • Khairul Ahsan (3/21/2014 7:52:00 PM)

    What a beautiful poem, Valsa, and what an apt title of it! How beautifully you have described the decaying process of our bodies at this age and our craving and pining for holding on to our past vigour!
    'My thoughts journeying through time and space' - A brilliant idea to describe the state of mind.
    'That mind derails its track
    And wanders like an aimless vagabond' - A fitting narration.
    'I wonder if the scales of my life’s balance
    Lean more to gains or losses now! ' - A thought that often crosses our ways these days.
    'Now I am unable to precisely tell
    What my mind craves and pines
    But this much I know for certain
    I am becoming worn and old' - A stark realization often encountered at our age.
    'Years have so quickly skipped past me
    With youth and beauty sapped away
    Leaving life an exhausted well
    With the dregs remaining at the bottom' - So beautifully said, love it!
    'I feel as vulnerable as a foetus in the womb' - This is the best line of the poem.
    'Still I stretch myself
    To catch at Hope, winging away! ' - And this is the best couplet, to conclude the poem so poetically!
    Very well done Valsa, Loved it A-Z. Needless to say, rated it 10/10.

  • Rishabh Bidya (2/7/2014 7:14:00 PM)

    As your every other work. Beautiful description, mam: D

  • Geetha Jayakumar (2/3/2014 9:39:00 AM)

    A Beautiful poem..
    Really a beautiful Sunset poem....
    I am just wondering how the Sunrise will look by just changing few words in this poem?
    If we want, we can turn Sunset into Sunrise too.
    But its in our hands.
    I love to write pessimistic poem.
    This poem matches me very well.
    Now without spectacles I can neither see far nor near....
    All the symptoms seems to work on me very well....
    Loved Reading it.

  • Valsa George (2/3/2014 1:31:00 AM)

    Dear Krishnakumar, your comment has so much of poetic beauty in it and I enjoyed your conclusion that old age is like autumnal weather and one can drift like feather.... but that is the onething I am afraid of..... drifting wih no sense of direction! (not serious!) Thank you for the beautiful comment!

  • Valerie Dohren (2/2/2014 2:46:00 PM)

    I'm sure the picture you have painted of yourself is not true to life Valsa, but as we get older we all start to feel like this. Very well written poem.

  • Krishnakumar Chandrasekar Nair (2/2/2014 10:31:00 AM)

    You've become worn and old?
    What with that inner heart of gold?
    And a treasure chest of good memories
    That only you can open to fend of worries
    Old age is like the autumnal weather
    Beautiful and you can drift like a feather
    Over the mist and what is yet to be
    Know well, He waits there patiently to receive thee.........

    Madam I do not agree with the pessimistic tone of your otherwise lovely poem. Very good write and yet it leaves a strand of profound sadness in the end.........

  • Kanav Justa (2/2/2014 7:54:00 AM)

    This is a real gem... your poem....
    Its sad... your way with words is great...

  • Md Asadullah (2/2/2014 7:15:00 AM)

    After going through your poem these are the lines which comes into my mind
    All the world's a stage,
    And all the men and women merely players;
    They have their exits and their entrances,
    And one man in his time plays many parts, - William shakespeare.

    wonderful poem, maam.

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