Jonathan ROBIN

Rookie - 129 Points (22 September / London)

Stainless


As rain brims rivers, springs life on the world,
love’s currents course through artery and vein,
vitality sustain, without which brain
sideways stumbles, soul dumb, flag fast furled.
When destinies together dance we’re whirled
by circumstance, or through Fate's unseen chain,
although one-sided meeting may remain,
vain, or rejected, as a stitch unpurled.
Life's challenge must be met to free dreams pearled.
Despite the oyster's ugly shell, no stain
may mar reflections pure to cure the bane
where unshared emotions Time sends whorled
in ripples round from core to furthest part,
as heart from heart is drawn too far apart.

Submitted: Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Edited: Friday, June 14, 2013

Form:


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Poet's Notes about The Poem

(12 March 2001 revised 14 September 2006)

Comments about this poem (Stainless by Jonathan ROBIN )

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  • Rookie Lekynn Ashton (8/20/2007 3:22:00 PM)

    This is a lovely sonnet, Jonathan. This is a fine extended metaphor, interspersed by some wonderful alliteration.
    Small suggestion? Lines 4 and 12 need a syllable each.
    Smiles,
    Lekynn (Report) Reply

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