Split Infinitive Poem by Stanley Cooper

How can I split an infinitive when I don’t know what an infinitive is
Being more infinitive inquisitive, I might have passed that infinitive quiz
I’ve been splitting bananas since years six, seven or eight
But as to splitting infinitives, I don’t very highly rate

When leaving a party, I inform that I’m splitting
That meaning of splitting informs them I’m quitting
But I can’t quit an infinitive when I’ve never been there
This splitting infinitives is starting to wear

I have a splitting headache from down deep in my infinitive abyss
Which forever dooms the concept that “ignorance is bliss”
I wish I hadn’t flunked that infinitive quiz
But, how can I split an infinitive when I don’t know what an infinitive is