Smile Poem by nic hillen

I have to front a smile
I'm worn of wiping tears
No1 can get to close
It's been like this for years
These drugs kill me softly
Infused with what I'm drinking
Numb the pain within my brain
Many lives that I'm afflicting
Hiding from reality
Try find that first time spark
Remaining light is out of sight
So then it all turns dark
The guilt begins to sollow me
I fight but cant escape
My body worn
Gives in to sleep
But my mind is still awake
Losing my identity
Vanished in own denial
My tears persist on falling
But yet I'll front a smile