Serenity Somewhere In An Open Field Poem by Andrus Cassian

As much as I wish to be someone
above this grave face I wear
I can't bear to part from it
Like a wrestler, like a robber
it's my mask, my secret identity
I can't bear to part from it
I'm nothing, safe to say it to my audience
I'm nothing
measured to be nothing, grown up to crash land
They say there's two sides to every coin
but no one spoke up
when the subject of me lay across the table
so I created a fable and said
there's only one side of me
that's just visible to me
since I'm locking myself away from the world outside today
For I am just a phantom in an opera I constructed
still unfinished, but I can't unwind it
I forgot how it starts
My leading lady, oh she's something real, spectacular
yet she's just an actor
who got caught in a moment, caught in the moment
and I can't speak, I can barely breathe
All I'm willing to know, all I'm willing to believe
there must be serenity in a place I have not gone
All that echos, bouncing off the crashing walls are cement
to give way to me
just laying in an open field with clenched fists
and in a brief sense of rage
just stand upon my knees
introducing the dirt to my fist till I bleed
to tell the demons who haunt me
to just leave me alone
a lonely phantom in the empty gallows of the foggy oak tree
a choice with a back against the wall, only nothing was there
Point the finger, face the fist, but the fist will never move
Just me, just me...
What can I say
I'm sorry for everything
Scene...