Self Inflicted Wounds Poem by Retro 308

You didn't mean to hurt me, and I know it's all my fault
I even saw it coming just not today in pret

I tried to keep the pain inside with the pieces of my heart,
but the poker game was lost at once you saw it in my face

I'm sure you didn't realise the impact it would have
Because we never really talked about the feelings that we have

Why didn't you talk to me, why didn't I talk to you
While we stood staring in at that dualled path yellow wood.

Its never been about choosing you or another it was about the pain I'd
cause to my other. While struggling with my dilemma I kept myself in
check because I didn't want to be that cad to mess with my fs's
emotions (not sure now that strategy was the best way to go)

I've always loved you J#####
yes from Alderley Edge and on.
Through yellow ducks and Holman Hunt
Reubens and electric shocks

Through academy of arts, and work tea breaks,
Wallace's collection and that creepy American Gothic
and not forgetting those endless Costa coffees.

I long to be with you, in the Westminster arms right down in that deep
dark nook or sharing a kiss on a London bridge.
(well one in particular anyway
and half way across of course)

I long to kiss your hair on a moving stair, or hold your waist while
You Cook some exotic fayre

To hide under a blanket while we watch a zombie classic
Drink prosecco on the decking or dunk custard creams with a pot of tea

I want to get our feet wet on a long stretch of beach anneville maybe
or somewhere a bit hotter.

To be holding your hand and kissing your lips before sipping champagne beside you to watch the sun set

Then when it gets cold to wrap up real close under the warmth of a
tartan blanket (why are they always tartan?)

I'd even settle for ordering your weird teas and going to meetings
At good old London Councils or if it really came to it scrubbing your bathroom with you with your old toothbrushes. (I know how to offer a girl good time)

And I'm sorry I won't be able to get you park running to make sure I can keep that heart of yours running

I've missed my chance, I think, and it hurts like hell
Self inflicted wounds feel so much worse.