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(5th October / Mumbai - India)

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Sailor Man (Senryu)

Goodbye sailor man
Our short lived friendship ended
When you jumped ship

Submitted: Saturday, July 04, 2009
Edited: Monday, July 20, 2009


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Comments about this poem (A con game? by Sandra Martyres )

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  • premji premji (7/17/2009 12:52:00 AM)

    sandra,
    this is marvellous! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 1

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Vaibhav Pandey (7/16/2009 6:55:00 AM)

    an excellent senryu sandra ma'm.....very witty...10

  • Smiley Hooker (7/15/2009 7:58:00 AM)

    Short, simple but very remarkable piece. very well done! : -)

  • Kesav Easwaran (7/13/2009 9:24:00 AM)

    truth and sarcasm both there...expressive senryu...thanks...10

  • Shashendra Amalshan (7/12/2009 12:40:00 AM)

    well i had no idea, one can narrate a moving, beautiful story through three lines..
    this is an exceptional write indeed! ! !
    nice
    love
    shan

  • Yelena M. (7/11/2009 2:22:00 PM)

    Your poetic ability to express deep ideas in short words amazes me every time, dear Sandra. Thanks very much for sharing and best wishes to you.
    Amary.

  • Indira Babbellapati (7/11/2009 12:27:00 AM)

    a strong metaphor...

  • Naidz Ladia (7/6/2009 6:09:00 AM)

    owwwwsss...first, i want to say that this is so nice..well presented in a form of senryu....naizz

  • Carl Harris (7/5/2009 8:27:00 AM)

    This is a wonderfully written senryu, Sandra, a very expressive one. I think it might be a little better if you switched the second and third lines and dropped the word 'it, ' like this: 'Goodby sailor man/ Our short lived friendship/ ended when you jumped ship! ' That way, you saved the best and most impactful line for last!
    Carl.

  • Karin Anderson (sorry can't vote or comment) . (7/5/2009 8:12:00 AM)

    And all nice girls love a sailor. My first love was studying to be an officer in the Navy and it was the uniform that did it for me! Clever work Sandra. 10 Karin Anderson

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