Roly-Poly Lover Poem by David Harris

I have a roly-poly lover
and her name is Two Ton Tess.
When she hugs me,
she squeezes me half to death.
It is like getting a hug
from a giant grizzly bear.
Her muscles are as big as Popeye’s
with the spinach she devours.
When friends ask me why I date a sumo wrestler
I simply reply. She is my Two Ton Tess,
my big, big lass.
Last week she stopped a locomotion
as she bent over on the tracks.
When the conductor asked what she was doing.
Tess quickly replied
I lost a penny somewhere and I was looking for it there.
She had the reputation
of being the strongest girl around
and I will vouch for that.
She was and she still is
and when she put her arms around my neck
if feels as if I am on the end of a hangman’s noose.
However, I love her,
my roly-poly lover,
my sweet Two Ton Tess.