Push Over Poem by Nenia Arnaiz Dulom

You think I am deranged,
Everyday you try to shrink my brain,
You play with my mind like a charmer,
I dance to the music like a show girl,
And tolerate your discordant instrument;

I mimic your sound when I speak,
I impersonate the kind of person who you think,
I bend like how a grass bend in the wind,
And try to survive the risk and danger;

You silently laugh inside your head,
You devote in trying to hide your amusement,
But you cannot camouflage the gladness across your face,
The delight you feel from my delusion beams;

You approve my apprehensions, my fear and dismay,
Your eyeballs roll in deception which I see,
You feed me everyday with illusion so tasty,
I willingly swallow the pretense like scavenger so hungry;

The tricks make me vulnerable to wallow in ambiguity,
They shine like guiding stars above me,
I follow your shadow like a blind who walks in gloomy day,
I walk like a zombie who has no destiny;

The confusion mixed with anxiety is too persuasive,
Produces hallucinations so vivid,
All the pleas, promises, and swearing
Stand like tall mirage of rocks I can lean on;

I believe you like how I believe in miracles,
Your grinning and enigmatic facial expression frustrate,
Everything I feel inside me that want to burst,
I either fade or diminish within myself;

You give me chill and ghost bump every time you are near,
Everything makes me feel unsafe and suspicious
in every move you make,
Even the sweetest gesture you do to tickle my bones to persuade,
Is like a sharp knife ready to stab the back of my neck;

My wit and discernment cannot comprehend my wariness,
For me you are my stalker, my nemesis
Oh the grimace on my face,
But I also think I cannot put you away to get rid.