Prisoner In My Own Mind Poem by Tears From A Soldiers Eyes

I am a prisoner in my own mind
not just saying this for no sympathy for me
just the things I’ve done and seen is why I agree that freedom ain’t free,
I have fun with my friends laugh and joke and try to keep up with the times
all along being a prisoner in my own mind.
There’s something about hiding pain that few understand but most cant.
Simple conversations almost yank painful memories from my ears.
Yet I understand you’re innocent with no intent on playing on my fears.
Just understand the facade I put on is not me being fake.
There’s a lot of memories floating in my head and its becoming harder to shake.
It’s normally only for a season so these leaves of bad memories is what I’m forced to take. They want me to take pills like crazy, guess that their version of a brain rake.
HATE
is not what keeps me going,
it’s the love in my heart that keeps me flowing.
Yet I’m still a prisoner in my own mind,
not just saying this for no sympathy for me,
just the things I’ve done and seen is why I agree freedom ain’t free.
And I understand that its millions out there that surely have it worst.
Not trying to be a myter, but they pain coupled with mine only adds to the hurt.
So when I see the government playing games I can’t help but feel ashamed.
It’s almost like a slap in the face. Like what I did was all for nothing.
Yet they say they taking care of its vets, political bluffing.
I guess it’s nobody’s fault but mine.
For trusting in a system that gave me 5 dollars to put my life on the line.
Back then I was just a walking future victim,
caught up in a money driven system.
But as the years go on I’m starting to see things more clear.
And it’s that very clarity that I’m staring fear.
Speaking of government, what ever happened to for the people by the people,
guess that’s just an ongoing myth all just seems feeble to me.
It’s so hurtful when you look at the bigger picture. So like the message in the bottle,
I bottle up my pain. And the only time I cry is when it rains.
I’m not lying when I say I’m a prisoner in my own mind.
I know I shouldn’t let it all get to me.
But I feel like a walking penitentiary.
I know I’m not perfect nor am I trying to be.
But I will continue to smile until RIP I’m finally free.