Pied-Piper Poem by Sidi Mahtrow

The Mad Hatter of Sacramento

There's a Town that deserves no pity,
Not far from famous Davis city;
A pleasanter spot you never spied;
Embraced by two rivers, deep and wide.
But some three hundred days ago,
Townsfolk (and others) were made to suffer so
And here begins my little ditty,
A tale of woe, - such a pity.

Energy!
It cost them all so very dearly,
Turned out their lights so they saw not clearly,
Stopped businesses in their tracks,
And put all the ac's out of wack(s) ,
Split open the kegs of finest wine,
And many a grape withered on the vine,
And even spoiled the Angel's baseball bats,
Robbing fans of their beer and brats.

To the Cap'tal they came a-flocking,
with cries for energy regulation - shocking
'To think we buy kilowatts at prices that can't be determined
From out-of-state companies at rates that set us squirming
What's best way to rid us of our energy problem!
Setting prices that puts State budget on a limb
Gov, you hope, because you're slick and wise,
To find a scapegoat in disguise? '

The people called out to the legislative body
Tis clear, '' cried they, ``our Gov's a noddy;
They said to those assembled,
Legislators who quaked and trembled,
'Rouse up, sirs! Give your brains a racking
To find the remedy we're lacking,
Or, sure as fate, we'll send you packing! ''

At this the Gov and the Corporation
Quaked under the pall of mis-Regulation.
In wee hours they sat in council,
Trying to resolve the price for kilowatts to sell
At length the Gov broke wind er, silence,
'I wish my election were not a year hence!
It's not easy to one rack one's brain -
For sure my poor head aches again,
I've scratched it so, and all in vain
Oh for a way out of this energy trap! ''

Just as he said this, what should hap
At the chamber door but a gentle tap?
``'Bless us, '' cried the Gov, ``what's that? ''
(There appeared one most wise
‘Twas as an energy broker in disguise.)
With this one the Gov did dicker,
Seeking relief from this sticky wicker.
Nor brighter was the Gov's eye, nor moister
Than a too-long-opened oyster,
Save when at fund raisers he grew gregarious
Taking green for placement in hidden trust.
'Only a jingle of coins in m' pocket, '
Said the stranger whose eyes lay deep in their socket(s) .

``Come in! '' - the Gov cried. And with a swager,
In did come the strangest figure!
Dressed in jeans and th' hat on his head
A ten gallon at least it has been said.
Well healed boots and belt with silver buckle,
The stranger, a image of Holywood's truckle.
He himself was tall, straight and thin,
With sharp blue eyes, each like a pin.
And, light loose hair, full; not thin.
No tuft of hair on cheek nor beard on chin,
Lips upon which a smile was carefully placed;
Gave no clue to the emotions behind this face.

And everybody could enough admire
This tall man and his quaint attire.
Quoth one: ``It's as if my great-grandsire,
Rising-up from the Gold-fields near,
Had walked this way with no fear! ''

The Stranger advanced to the council-table:
And, ``Please your honours, '' said he, ``I'm able,
By means of a secret charm that I alone possess to energize
All you require and let you get on with your lives
Living here ‘neath the California sun,
Your compressors have need to run,
The kilowatts you can freely draw,
Your problems are but a minor flaw,
While I chiefly use my charm
On businesses that do other people harm,
For you, I'll make this one time exception
And find kilowatts to solve your lack of anticipation.
(And here they noticed in the pocket
Of his well cut Western jacket
A bit of red and yellow string,
To which was affixed a pipe like thing;
And his fingers, they noticed, were ever straying
As if impatient to be playing
Upon this pipe, mostly hidden from display
In the jacket pocket in a most becoming way.
``Yet, '' said he, ``poor player as I am,
In Washington I played with the saxaphone ham,
Last June, before his huge swarm of wooden idols,
I felt his pain and played for the great movie monguls.
O' what a showing for the democrats:
We turned out the republicans like caterwalling cats
And as for what your brain bewilders,
The end to your energy jitters.'

Said he, 'I will provide your State with kilowatts
Peak price may be a thousand for the lot? ''
'One? fifty thousand! '' - was the exclamation
Of the astonished Gov and Convention.

Into the market the Stranger stept,
As he knew where the magic slept.
Raising his quiet pipe the while,
Twisting his lips into a little smile,
To blow the pipe, his brow he wrinkled,
And green and blue his sharp eyes twinkled,
Like a candle-flame where salt is sprinkled;
And while with soothing notes, the pipe did utter,
It caused Bankers and Wall Street to shudder.

Then there came a mighty rumbling;
As out of their houses the public came tumbling.
Grave old plodders, gay young friskers,
Fathers, mothers, uncles, cousins,
Cocking tails and pricking whiskers,
Families by tens and dozens,
Brothers, sisters, husbands, wives -
Praised the Stranger for changing their lives.
From street to street he piped advancing,
And step for step they followed dancing.

A record of what had transpired
Was saved by one, whose house wern't wired
This one, - sweated out the summer heat
Without benefit of refrigerated meat(s) .
In a manuscript that he cherished
Was recorded how the State's budget perished.
To wit; ``At the first shrill pipe's tune,
I heard that one had only to 'wish on the moon.'
Added was the roar of energy efficient cars
And windmills churning out energy like blazing stars.
And grapes, and vegetables,
From Chile, they were imported for the table.
Half-done pickles from the crocks covered with boards,
Given to those hungry, drunken hoards.
And a leaving ajar the medicine cupboard,
For free health care and drugs galore.
And drawing from other's petroleum reserves, so dear,
Provided to refineries, but not too near.
‘Twas like freely uncorking train-oil-flasks,
Wasting the remaining fat of whales past.
And a breaking the hoops of butter-casks and cheeses
You can have it all if it pleases!
And it seemed as if the Gov's voice
called out, 'Oh citizens, rejoice!
The world is grown to one vast pantry!
So munch on, crunch on, take your nuncheon,
Breakfast, supper, dinner, luncheon! '

All of us agreed that it was just
That someone else should pay for us.
But there I found that to be free
Meant we must cooperate, you and me.
But those who had followed the Gov's calling
Found themselves into the American River falling.
Into the mighty waters did they go
To meet their maker. It is so.
Was time to pay-up the trust
That the Gov said was most unjust!

You should have heard the 'other' people
Ringing the bells till they rocked the steeple.
Now those who the free lunch had partaken
From the State, found they were sadly mistaken!
'Go, '' cried the Gray One, 'Raise to the maxus,
Destroy nest eggs with higher property taxes.
Ignore all sane and patriotic leaders,
It's time to march with the environmental pleaders.
Don't leave in our State, not a trace or clue
Of what caused the energy crisis! '' or they'll sue! '
(For it is true that with the Energy Problem behind them,
With loss of jobs the business outlook was most dim.)

When suddenly, did appear the face
Of the Stranger having done his magic in the market-place,
With a, ``Davis, if you please; My thousand dollar/kilowatt fee
It's a modest sum considering how we put the state out of its misery! ''

'A thousand bucks per kilowatt! ' The Mayor looked blue;
So did the Legislature, Deregulation Board and others too.
For their Conference dinners had made rare havoc
Diminishing the supply of imported Claret
(And Moselle, Vin-de-Grave, as well as Hock ;)
And half that money would replenish
Their cellar's biggest butt with the Rhine wine, Rhenish.
To pay this sum to a wandering stranger
Their sanity surely be in danger!

'Beside, '' quoth the Grey One with a knowing wink,
Our business was done at the economy's brink;
We've seen with our own eyes, the prices sink,
And what's dead can't come to life, regardless of stink..
However, friend, we're not the folks to shrink
From the duty of giving you something to drink,
And a bit of money for your poke;
But as for the thousand, of which you spoke
As you very well know, was made in jest.
Now be a good fellow and not a pest.
Beside, our losses have made us thrifty.
A thousand dollars! Come, here take fifty! ''

The Stranger's face fell, and he cried,
'No trifling! I can't wait, beside!
Your contract must be paid!
Or I'll bring a thousand lawyers - from de Sade.
My employees are in their prime,
And must be paid by dinner-time
Wall Street has rewarded their very own
With stock in shares over-blown
Pay up you debts, and quickly so
For it's on to bigger business I must go.
I deal with Federal ones on high,
It's business as usual; do or die.
I give no bargain or mercy to any,
I'll not reduce the charge, NO not a penny!
But if you put me in a passion
I'll play my pipe - in another fashion.''

'Away with you! ' cried the Gov, (growing in face red)
'Don't expect from me a crust of bread!
D'ye think I'll pay when there's no written contract on book.
I resent being worse treated than a Crook.
Insulted by a lazy stranger
With idle pipe in hand. There's no danger!
You threaten us, fellow? Do your worst,
Blow your pipe there till you surely burst! ''

Once more the stranger stept before Wall Street,
And offered notes about profits sweet.
Paper hid the musician's cunning
Behind a multitude of businesses he'd been running.

And from his lips the wind did come again
Through the long pipe of smooth straight cane;

There was a rustling that seemed like a bustling
Of distressed crowds pitching and hustling,
Small feet were pattering, Telephones a'clattering,
Little hands clapping and little tongues chattering,
And, like fowls in a farm-yard when barley is scattering,

Out came the retirees running.
All the aged men and women,
With scalie cheeks, glassed eyes and thinning hair,
On slow moving limbs that worked, not so fair,
Tripping and stumbling, they ran after
The woeful player, portending a major disaster!

The Gov was stuck dumb, and the Council stood
As if they were changed into blocks of wood,
Unable to move a step, The Grey One did cry
'Wait, ' to the crowd as it came charging nye,
That rebellious crowd at the Piper's back.
Suddenly had the Administration on rack,
And hearts within their wretched bosoms beat,
As the Piper turned along Freeport Street
To where the Sacramento river rolled its waters
Right in the way of these sons and daughters!

The Piper turned away from the River's flow,
To strike a message to the Government in the know.
And to the Capital his steps addressed,
And after him the old-ones pressed;
Great was the anger in every breast.

'I'll be tarred and feathered, what a mess.'
thought the Gov in his distress,
'Perhaps, the Piper will let the piping drop,
And we shall see the voters stop! ''

When, lo, as they reached the building-side,
A wondrous portal opened wide,
As if a cavern was suddenly hollowed;
And the Piper advanced and the old-ones followed,
And when all were in to the very last,
The door in the building-side shut fast.
Did I say, all? No! One was lame,
And could not run the whole of the way;
And in after years, if you would blame
His sadness, he was used to say, -
'It's dull in our town since the democrats left!
I can't forget that I'm bereft
Of all the pleasant sights they see,
Which the Piper also promised me.
For he led us, he said, to a joyous land,
Joining the town and just at hand,
Where waters gushed and fruit-trees grew,
And flowers put forth a fairer hue,
And everything was strange and new;
The sparrows were brighter than peacocks here,
And there dogs gamboled with our fallow deer,
And honey-bees had lost their stings,
And horses were born with eagles' wings;
And just as I became assured
My lame foot would be speedily cured,
The music stopped and I stood still,
And found myself on Capitol hill,
Left alone against my will,
To go now limping as before,
And never hear of those promises, more! ''

Alas, alas, for California state and National Fed!
There came into many a voter's head,
A reasoning which says that heaven's gate
Opens to those rich, at an easy rate
As the needle's eye takes a camel in!
But poor tax payers will never win.

The Governor sent East, West, North and South,
To offer the Piper, by word of mouth,
Silver and gold to his heart's content,
If he'd only return the way he went,
Wherever it was men's lot to find him,
And bring the lost ones that followed behind him.

But when he saw 'twas a lost endeavour,
And Piper and voters were gone for ever,
They passed legislation that lawyers must
If their agreements are be held in trust,
After the day of the month and year,
Should be placed the recording signature.

Sadly, those words did not on paper appear,
And so what happened here
Is written for to memory fix
The place of the Grey Davis's last trick,
They called it, the rise and fall
Of that evil, slippery, twisting pol
Putting an end to where any one working
Was unsure of any future booking.
Nor suffered they hostelry or tavern
To shock with mirth an event so solemn;
But opposite the place of the capital building
They wrote this story on marble column,
And on the great hillside painted
The same, to make the world acquainted
How their fortunes were stolen away,
And there it stands to this very day.

And the muse must not omit to pen
Comming near to this poems end,
That in Washington there's a tribe
Of alien people who ascribe
Their outlandish ways and dress
And dealing with the press
To their having passed through the gate
Out of an electoral process of a distant state.

Forgetting that long time ago in a mighty band
Rose up protestors throughout the land,
Threw out the tea and burned the presses
Cast off the shackles of the oppressives
Rose up to create a Freedom land
Based on faith and legal dealings with fellow man.

So, Slick Willy, Gray Davis or whom ever,
It's not wise to be overly clever.
Let me and you be wipers
Of scores out with all men - especially pipers!
And, whether they pipe us free from rats, mice or energy,
Let us keep our promise, or it's to the hanging tree!