Ph: Humour: When You Are Old Poem by Brian Johnston

When you're old, though no one heeds,
Your mind is verdant with weeds
And I find I must admit
Other's problems take a hit.

When you're old, or so it seems,
You're friends are all just crazy
And you grudgingly conclude,
That yep, they're also lazy.

When you're old, oh sweet Jesus,
You have got so much to do,
And you're shocked (how'd that happen?)
Yet another day is through!

You know it really isn't
That time is going faster,
It is simply how life goes….
Disaster, then disaster.

When you're old, this is funny,
You can't get past your tummy,
Oh yeah, you've got weight to lose,
You can't even tie your shoes!

When you're old, wow is this true,
Other drivers are scary,
Inheritance from dear Dad
Gone to someone named Mary?

When you're old, here comes trouble
She's cleaned house and I'm frantic,
The last time that this happened
My stuff sank with Titanic!

We all know that collecting
Well, it always has its price
With unfortunate side effects
Which really aren't very nice.

When you're old, save those kisses
Who can say what day this is?
I know they say don't worry,
But we've flats on our surrey.

When you're old, you want to help,
But it turns out you're weaker
And the strength that you're needing
Now just comes from a beaker.

When you're old, this sounds so great,
Hey, I've got my retirement
Perhaps you hadn't noticed but
There's always some requirement.

Complaints come really easy,
They cost less than a penny.
And though this poem is done
Bet you I'll still have many!