Paris Hilton On Justice Poem by David McLansky

They took away my Gucci bag!
That sadistic dike, that fat old hag;
I have no one to do my hair;
Just look at what I have to wear;
Although orange goes well with my complexion,
What if Cosmo comes to jury selection?
Paper sandals in exchange for Prada,
All I know in Spanish is 'nada.'
And nada is all in jail I got;
I can't sleep on that nasty cot;
And no cupcakes, Oh this nasty food;
This puts me in a real bad mood;
Where's my lawyer, where's my shrink;
That's the toilet? It's NOT THE SINK?