One Of Ophelia's Attendants Amid Wonder And Silence:The Other Side Poem by Dennis Ryan

Thursday night, January 22 (2015?)at 10: 20 p.m.

"Why is a woman still not safe when she's in her home? "
- Tracy Chapman, guitar and vocals, "Why? "You Tube music video

I fear for my life if I am overheard,
so I speak here—to myself, only to myself—
far afield, far from all castle walls, settlements, ears.
No lookouts, no sentinels here—I standaway,
far above the North Sea, looking down into its waters
in search of mine own self, mine own voice
that has been drowned, lain submerged
at ocean bottom, a fear-filled prisoner
held under iron lock and key—it dare
not speak, a subject of self-silencing.
Here I am a nobleman's daughter
trying to make my way for family,
trying to find a suitable husband
about whom the court doth richly
approve, and I am subject to this!
Have witnessed this!Oh, Ophelia!
Her hands?Her two warm hands?
Now not to hold!None!Both wrapped
in December's earth holdings, buried
with her soul.Oh, my heart! My heart!
In truth I do wish I wore more years,
owned my mother's age since she talks
of hearing a voice in her ears thatinstructs
and protects—her instincts, intuition,
indignation, self-angel, whatever it is.
I hear no such voice, and do myself
violence by keeping silent.So I must—
What is that noise now?The sound of
grass green growing under my feet?
The digging ofmoles and mice, tiny
tiny heartbeats, beating down under?
My curiosity doth overwhelm silence.
Do such sounds live on the other side?
This roar from down deep in the earth?
I wonder... If ears can hear, eyes can see,
tongues taste, lips be moved to speech.
(A monkey will dance if given the opportunity—
for the right price!) Such efforts at digging!
I wonder what is right or wrong above this grass,
Still, not safe, not safe, no, neither out here
nor at home if I make my feelings known
to any man, to anyone.I cannot trust even
another attendant in waiting not to tell.
Everyone is complicit with this devil king,
his new court, his new queen. I maintain
my place by maintaining absolute silence.