Ode To Iron Road (Part 1) Poem by Sambanath Denis

Ode To Iron Road (Part 1)

Love blossoms in an unlikely place,
The iron road, where nature meets ambition.
As often some times I see your bright face,
My heart is glowing with a girls feelings
But my face is dimmed with the dirt or oil.
Beyond this guise you do not see my heart,
That peaks through my eyes, my cheeks that smile. I
Crawled inside the tomb of my fellows for
A chance meeting on the tracks of iron.
I placed fire in the belly of their grave,
The cavern that collapsed sealing their fate.
Did you see the tears that ambition wrought on
The men among me? As I lay flat or
Kneeling in that cave, that houses men lost
To fate, I focused on my task to open
Up the collapse. The same way my heart longs
For you to see beyond the blockade
Of my disguise. Will time take me away?
As I lead the dynamite line away from
Myself, out of the cave, back to you. Did
You hear my heart scream 'I love you' when I
Gazed at you? As fervently as a man
Called 'Fire in the hole! ', all of us taking
Cover behind the boulder. I swear your
Affection for me is an extension of
Your fairness to my fellows. Your morals.
But your affection is fraternal, just
With eyes that see men as men, or brothers
In arms. Did the war bestow you virtues
Only for comrades? Or familiar reflections?
I am clothed as a man, so your heart sees me
As your friend, or little brother. I am
A woman. Beneath my wraps, lay breasts. Will
You understand if, with diffidence, I spread
My secret before your beauty, hoping
You do not reject me with eyes of distaste.
I unsexed myself, to a sex you do
Not glance. Yet I glance at you, in secret,
Behind these clothes, behind my hearts smile.
Sometimes in my dreams I meet your lips kiss.
When I am awake, we meet within the
Dream of your father. More distant, just friends.
When I was with you that day, when we went
To a waterfall away from the camp.
I sat with my reflection, I smiled at
Your words. Did you know my smile was of love?
Your conversation spoke of the past, I
thought of you as you were but you did not
Think of me. As you tossed a stone into
The pool, I felt your love go deeper. Yet,
A skipping stone you throw without knowing.
Your eyes skip over me, they see only
'Little Tiger'. I gazed at the stone you
Threw, my eyes do not skip over you mr
James. They fall into you, into the pool
Of your brown eyes. You removed your clothes.
Why? Suddenly, I turn to face the path we
Had trod to come here. Is this path ours? A
Path where flowers shall blossom by the water
Fall? The seeds of loves memories unfurling?
No. Not today, today you are pulling
Me playfully into the cold pool. I
Swear I am a good swimmer. Its just,
I am in love with you so I restrain
My eyes. A woman dressed as your 'little
Tiger', does not look upon you as a
Woman. I must be as you, a man with
His friend. Now I am with another friend, a
Man I met on the ship. He has dreams, of
Love too, of children. He is now learning
Of dynamite. The line is too short, why?
I take the dynamite and speak to your
Brother: 'The lines are too short', his reply
Answers my query. That my friend is doomed.
How many must die for your fathers dream? In
My dreams, no one dies or is forced to die.
So I resolve to replace him. If I
Die, will you find my breasts and the truth behind
Them: 'I am in love with you, my mr james.'
If my heart stops, will you hear the message
Even though its repetition has ceased?
I ask the man, the man who once said ' We
Take care of our own': 'I want to be on
The dynamite team.' I am a tea boy.
'Be a good tea boy then work up to that.'
I frowned, I returned to my friend. Good-byes
Should not exist between me and this man.
He is saying farewell to his dreams: to
His two wives, to his child, who died as soon
As your brother said 'short lines? Don't worry.'
A flower to the grave of his dream. Mr
James, will I ever see goat mountain? Will
My dreams die? This is what I thought of when I
Found myself at the waterfall, its sound
Reminded me of peace. I smiled, my eyes
dreamed of you. Suddenly you were there.
Mr James! You sat with me relaxed, you spoke
Of things that stirred my female heart. Your
Words went into my heart like dynamite.
I felt the explosion of feelings in
My heart. Now, where my secret love for you
Had been hidden by this visage, a clear
View straight through me emerged. The truth like the
Wind blew through that clear pathway. I felt the
Truth of its ardent bellow buffet me.
My hand touched your wrist, the paradise of
Relief. I felt that it had risen too
Far into the light to hide in the cave
Of this guise. 'Mr James, I am in love with you.'
You stood up, my touch had already told you.
'I am a woman, I am.' Your face fell
From the sweet grace of our friendship
That had lived until about thirty seconds
Before. You looked at me like a stranger.
All in one moment, my dream hung there in
The tense grip of my truth, of your beauty.
I felt your eyes collapse over the clear
View in my heart. Now it had filled with
Fear. Will I die neath' the weight of your eyes?
My breath is leaving me, am I going
To die? Is the only clarity meant to
Be your fathers dream? Or will flowers grow
Near this waterfall, where no one dies or
Is forced to die.