Oblivious Poem by Rodney Epperson

Twisting stretching bending
No comfort
No peace
Not even in my own skin

I smear a pretend smile across my face as is the expectation of our love
Daring not once to default to my heart
Telling me I know better
Aching I need more
Poisoning me slowly your stare
Lethal and loving but so unaware

Don’t you see I let you plunge the knife in me
Trusting you enough to be defenseless
Loving enough to not see the arc of your blade as it plunges into the very soul of me
What unappreciated strength that took
My pain in your pleasure was my vice for a season
Fooling myself to the thoughts of maybe tomorrow things will change

Now the truth stripped bare
My muse my liar
My love my tormentor
My breath my suffocation
My future my early grave
Damn loving you makes the sweetest bitter tears

Friends offer direction
Evoking iconoclast imagery love honor obey
Never once seeing the depth to which this pain fills me
Missing every nuance that colorfully described my hurt
How my friend could you miss all the signs

An empty husk of water and guts
No emotions left
Stripped and converted into the angst which fuels my life
Will anyone ever see me
Can you hear me
Did you even know me

Will you light a candle for me on the anniversary of our ruin
Please do I would find the irony so replete with your self righteousness that I may learn to laugh again

Loving you was my choice
Leaving you was yours
In your lifetime you will never see it that way
Cast me as your villain
It’s the part I will gladly play

I tried to teach you to speak the language of our love
You smiled your frown and went about life
So do so again without me
Walking wounded but all to blind to see
The tortured soul in all of this in time is who you will be