Notes On October 26 Written Without Direction.... Poem by RIC BASTASA

when cesar died
in cebu city, somewhere in the slums
of carbon or
colon,
and three days thereafter when his
decomposing body was
discovered by the police,
for so many nights
I and emma had been having
nightmares,

dreams of mud, and rising waters,
and floods, eating bridges
the way we drown and wakes up to be saved
from said stupor

and on that morning, when the rain ceased
heavy rains last night,
i saw a praying mantis on the side of the door

as though talking to me in metaphors
and emma was lost in her dreams wanting to
return back home

the same dream i told her
i was lost and could not find my way home

and then the news of cesar's death has arrived,
he was murdered and left there alone in his room


we could not figure out how, and why, and all that
we could do, is just to pray

a lonely funeral attending only by
four cousins, a video, a picture, that is all that
we have,

a nightmare that we want to wake up with
facing another morning, on a row of green trees
blue clouds and morning sunshine....

life goes on and on, the crying shall end,
another day must begin, to start with,

the usual coffee and cream, and bread and butter
and guava jam, and clear thoughts, and
logical balancing.....