Not To Be Poem by Andy Barrette

Tonight, I decided to die
when the peace came over me
and it was easier not to breath,
not to be.

So tranquil...
Till the door kicks in,
my lover rushes to me,
gazes at me through clear watery eyes,
bares teeth,
and a broken soul.
I like this place, this state.
I want to tell her what it's like, the joy,
but there are no words.
Hamlet was right.
I think I'll honor my decision.

Hospital ceiling...
Friends bending over me,
like creatures from a dream...
Sky ascending, dirt on me.
A grave...
Is the ground cold?
What is the feeling? What is feeling?

All rushes on now.
Points of something from all sides
as the world I knew
fades to mad oblivion, nothingness.
What's left
is real,
so real.
Oh
so
real...