Not Much To Report From Wonthaggi Poem by Francis Duggan

Not much to report from Wonthaggi no drive by shooting there last night
Though one young bloke on the street by the pub door was shouting and looking for fight
Perhaps he had one drink too many the cops came and took him away
Not much to report from Wonthaggi one might say another quiet day.

Not much to report from Wonthaggi save that Lisa J has not yet found a new man
Though life is going quite nicely for her and everything is going to plan
She has a new car she is happy to those who wait good things come they say
And the smile on her face getting bigger with the promise of a raise in pay.

Not much to report from Wonthaggi though in itself that no surprise
But Vicki A argued with her aunt about football of the true worth of the Tigers and Pies
And the subject of Aussie rules can be touchy of the game of the real macho men
And Vicki's verbal stoush with aunty was something that neither did win.

Not much to report from Wonthaggi save that Craig F and his true soul mate
Between them drank a dozen stubbies and sat and watched T.V.till late
In Cameron Street not much happening a quiet old part of the quiet Town
Though on saturday night when the pubs close the hoons race their cars up and down.

Not much to report from Wonthaggi where Nicholas R plays his violin
Musicians are born and not made such gifts only come from within
He dreams of playing at the Grand Ole Opry though we all have our dreams of renown
And Nashville could hardly be further from the quiet streets of Wonthaggi Town.

Not much to report from Wonthaggi save Steve and Annie's wombat to them did return
One might call them true friends of Nature from Nature we have heaps to learn
But this story won't make World news headlines just one nice memory to recall
And not much to report from Wonthaggi where the biggest of stories are small.

Not much to report from Wonthaggi though Business people Jo and Malcolm B
Were honoured by Victoria's Parliament and treated to Government tea
And though this is a marvellous story and such stories we all love to hear
Wonthaggi is not the best launch pad for a successful business career.

Not much to report from Wonthaggi though Helen and Jacqueline can't wait
To watch their favourite band Obliqua in Meeniyan in their diaries they've pencilled in the date
But Meeniyan distant from the London Palladium a place where great dreams have come true
And not much to report from Wonthaggi where even the dreamers are few

Not much to report from Wonthaggi though Mark L killed another mouse
He does not like the tiny squeaky creatures raising their babies in his house
Still one doesn't get tried by judge and jury for killing a mouse or a rat
And not much to report from Wonthaggi and so very little at that.

Not much to report from Wonthaggi though Breta S tells us how great
You'd swear by her it was Utopia the next stop down from Heaven's gate
Two of her daughters and some of her grandchildren live local and her church just a short drive away
Still not much to report from Wonthaggi in just one more boring old day

Not much to report from Wonthaggi where Martin R plans one more trip
He will spend a few weeks in Tasmania can't say if he's travelling by plane or by ship
And though this is a very good story of what should be a great holiday
Not much to report from Wonthaggi where not much happens anyway.

Not much to report from Wonthaggi where Annie her new job did start
And in a place of high unemployment from her success others can take heart
She is climbing the achievers ladder and to bigger things well on her way
Still not much to report from Wonthaggi the same old story one might say.

Not much to report from Wonthaggi no drive by shooting over night
And in the south west Gippsland Township all is very peaceful and quiet
And the South Gippsland times headline story to a real big story seems small
And not much to report from Wonthaggi where nothing much happens at all.