No Rewinds, Look Out Below Poem by Liam Dudgeon

His smell’s,
On your pillow.
His roses,
In your vase.

You cross your heart,
I hope you die.
You make me a fool,
And blaspheme our love.

You say I’m the only,
You lie to my face.
You make mockery the ceremony,
And the consummation.

Virginal white,
Nay,
You deserve,
Funeral black.

Today’s the day,
The worst day,
The best day,
Of my life.

No rewinds,
No second chance,
It’s over,
Look out below.

Could it be a lie?
Everything you,
Ever said to me?
Would you break my heart?

You broke my heart,
I will break my neck,
Open window,
20 stories up.

It’s over,
Look out below,
It’s over,
Please forgive me.

I took the bullet,
I carved your name,
I took the gun,
And put it through my brain.

Yours is the last name,
To leave my lips,
And to exit my mind,
In a spray of blood and bone.

I sharpen the blade,
Until the grindstone,
Grinds out your name,
Across the razor edge.

With your name,
On the blade,
There is only,
One option to take.

I take the knife,
I fall upon it,
It enters my back,
And cleaves my heart in two.

I say “Let’s go to dinner”,
Take your car,
With your personalised plates,
Your pride and joy.

I say, “I’ll drive”,
Knowing exactly,
Which route,
I have to take.

The long winding,
Mountain road,
No rails,
And a fall to rival Axel Lindenbrock.

Or the rickety bridge,
Into the ice cold water,
Lock the doors,
Seal the windows.

Watch the ice water,
That runs in your veins,
Fill your lungs,
Fill my lungs.

I’ve had your blood,
Running my heart,
Only right,
That it stops it too.

My mind wanders,
Bring it back,
Back to this balcony,
Long drop, sudden stop.

No rewinds,
No second chance,
You bought me down,
Look out below.

No, I will not jump.
You need closure,
I need retribution,
He needs murder.

I’ll take the gun,
I’ll take the knife,
I’ll take your name,
And give him justice.

This will be,
My last goodbye,
Your lies,
Have come to this.

I caught him,
Alone in the car park,
12th floor,
Look out below.

I gave him back,
His wallet,
It was under your bed.
He seemed surprised.

I told him I knew,
He denied me,
His screams of denial,
Echoed.

Echoed for the 12 floors,
Till the wet smack,
Of body and concrete,
Silenced his denial forever.

No rewinds,
No second chance,
I threw him down,
Look out below.

I came home,
Told you I’d found,
The missing keys,
You asked me where.

I saw it in your eyes,
Right at that moment,
Acceptance.
You knew retribution was coming.

In his pocket,
I replied.
And his wallet,
Under your bed.

OUR BED!
You mocked the ceremony,
In our bed?
Where we consummated it?

I threw you down,
Saw you cower on the floor.
You couldn’t even face me,
At the end.

I took my knife,
With your name engraved,
And buried it,
In your chest.

It was a gift,
You gave to me,
Right afterwards,
The first time.

Should I,
Have been suspicious,
Even then?
Offering me payment?

I took your,
Still warm body,
Loaded it,
Into your car.

No rewinds,
No second chance,
We’re going down.
Look out below.

I took the,
Winding mountain track.
Driving to match,
My raising pulse.

Came to the bridge,
Open my door,
Jammed down the gas,
And leaped at the last second.

No rewinds,
No second chance,
I drove you down,
Look out below.

I stood there with my heartache,
Until the last bubbles,
And with them you,
Were gone forever.

Backtrack,
Back at our apartment,
I had one thing,
Left to do.

I wrote a note,
Confessing,
Both my crime,
And my motives.

I took the gun,
With your name,
On the cartridge,
Cocked the hammer.

Put it between my teeth,
Your name would be the last thing,
Pass my lips,
And into my brain.

Standing there,
On the balcony,
Gun in mouth,
Ready to fire.

No second chance,
No rewind,
I pull the trigger,
Watch out below.

Falling backwards,
Heart still pumping,
Brain a shattered memory.
Concrete flies to meet me.

Your arms,
As if clouds,
Engulf me,
Shielding my fall.

You forgive me,
For jealousy,
Falsity,
Murder.

An angel you are,
I savour every moment,
Knowing you must,
Carry me down below.

All pain is gone,
I feel your love,
And his poison,
Pumping through my veins.

No rewinds,
No second chance,
I should have been sure,
Look out below.